There are moments in life when we realise that we are no longer who we once were. Sometimes that change can arrive suddenly and without our control through bereavement, illness, relationship breakdown, burnout or unexpected life events. Sometimes it happens more quietly, we slowly outgrow old versions of ourselves, our old routines, beliefs, ways of coping. Whilst personal growth is often spoken of as a positive change, in reality the shift can be quite uncomfortable, even if it leads us to a positive outcome.

Human beings, despite being brilliantly complex on one hand, are quite simple creatures on the other – we find safety and reassurance in the familiar and can remain comfortably uncomfortable for years. So when life changes, or when we begin changing internally, it can feel unsettling. We might start to question ourselves:

Who am I?

What do I want?

Why does life feel different?

Why do the things that once made me feel good no longer feel right?

This emotional uncertainty can disrupt our nervous system and bring feelings of anxiety, grief, exhaustion, or a sense of feeling emotionally lost. People often assume that positive change should feel exciting all of the time, but growth also involve letting go of the old version of us. Even though this change is necessary it can still carry grief.

If I asked you what grief mean to you, I wouldn’t be surprised if you answered with bereavement, but grief can also appear when life changes. It’s not uncommon to grieve for relationships that have changed, for the old version of you, for the career or role in life that once defined you, for the life you thought you would have or even for your old sense of identity or certainty. This is something I see often in my therapy work. People arrive feeling emotionally overwhelmed or lost, disconnected or unsure of who they are, not because of any failure, but because navigating change can be tough and at times messy.

Over the past few years, I have found myself reflecting deeply on this idea within my own professional and personal journey. As a therapist, I have faced risk head on by taking the plunge from paid employment to full time self-employment, I have continued developing and evolving, not only through formal qualifications, but also my own self-awareness and spiritual growth. Becoming a Reiki Master was a particularly important part of that journey. It was not simply about learning new techniques or achieving another qualification, it encouraged me to reflect on who I was becoming. It asked me to deepen my trust in myself, my intuition and my ability to hold space for others. At times that felt exciting, at other times that felt emotionally uncomfortable because personal evolution often asks us to let go of the old identities we feel we fully understand before we can fully step into who we are becoming next. I think this is something many people experience whether that’s at work, in their relationships, their health or emotional wellbeing. The space in between the old identity and the new one can feel vulnerable, but it can also become the beginning of something deeply meaningful.

Emotional wellbeing often improves through life’s changes when we allow ourselves space to process the change properly, rather than trying to push through or silence what we are feeling. We can do this for ourselves by creating more rest and space within daily life, or with support including:

 counselling to explore emotions safely

hypnotherapy to calm the nervous system and build self confidence

Reiki to encourage relaxation and reconnection

EFT to process emotional stress and overwhelm

Just remember, you do not have to have everything figured at all at once, allow the change to develop, allow yourself space to adjust. Reinvention is rarely simple.

One of my favourite words in the therapy room is “permission”. It feels really important to use it here too. You can give yourself permission to change. You can give yourself permission to outgrow your old identities, beliefs and habits. You can give yourself permission to want more. You can give yourself permission to become authentically you. Whilst change can feel frightening, you can give yourself permission to take the time and space for healing, self-awareness and growth. You can give yourself permission to love the you that you are becoming.

With warmth and light

Jodie

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Support at Cotswold Healing Therapies

At Cotswold Healing Therapies, I offer personalised support for emotional wellbeing, life transitions and personal growth.

Sessions may include counselling, hypnotherapy, Reiki or EFT depending on your individual needs.

If you would like support navigating change with greater calm, clarity and confidence, I would love to help.